pack family
“I’m free to be myself and enjoy being around my family,” Pack member.

The Pack

Understanding the pack requires a paradigm shift. Pack members are neither dependent nor independent of each other. They are interdependent and have a collaborative mentality hence each member is just as valuable as the family system.

The Wild

In the wild, the pack is in a category all by itself. The pack has legitimate leaders with clear lines of authority with a pecking order. Leadership is questioned from time to time but is respected once established. The family reinforces social norms and rules through order and discipline among the ranks. Although the packs encourage members to be creative and adventurous, every member has a responsibility and role to support the family.

Individuals

Individuality does not threaten the identity of the pack because the relationship bonds of these families are secure. The pack values every member. Members have a strong sense of trust and loyalty. They value relationships and tend to develop stable relationships with each other. In addition, they recognize how they are separate but connected. The relationships are interconnected and interdependent. Therefore, differences are celebrated and viewed as strengths. These families are flexible and adjust easily when needed.

Emotions

Packs are emotionally and intellectually interdependent. “We” is just as important as “me.” They are comfortable with themselves and tend to manage anxiety well. They cope well with emotional distance and closeness without becoming overly anxious and nervous. The relationship is responsive rather than reactionary. Since conflicts do not threaten the relationship, they provide opportunities to define their position and self. additionally, members are competitive but not at the expense of others. They operate from an abundance mentality and do not compete for resources. Consequently, the members tend to be good problem solvers and seek win/win solutions.

Be sure to check out the conclusion in the next edition.

Check out more of Dr. Dave’s work.
solitary hermit
“I left home at 17 and haven’t been back since,” the Solitary Hermit.

Solitary Hermits

Solitary hermit families are loners and withdrawn. Their motto is “every man for his self.” Independence and individuality are promoted and is more critical than togetherness. Members tend to be logical and react to emotions with distance. Solitary hermits tend to develop avoidant relationship styles. Avoidant relationships seek emotional distance to regain a sense of self and reduce anxiety. Rigid boundaries are often put in place to protect and keep others from getting too emotionally close. There are little communication and trust of others. Respect is the codeword for love which is far less threatening. Their loyalties are to their selves.

Wild

In the wild, solitary hermits tolerate others to procreate. They prefer to be alone, or in a small group, however, they will assemble if food and prey are plentiful. Sometimes, members are kicked out or chased away. They are very patient, quiet, and don’t mind being alone.

Relationships

In relationships, solitary hermits become anxious when others are too close and tend to withdraw when stressed. When confronted, they become aggressive or merely walk away. They are easy-going until they are backed into a corner, then they tend to become aggressive. They emotionally explode to create distance. Rather than work through emotional hurt and pain, solitary hunters will emotionally cut off family members. It’s not uncommon for these members to hold and nurse a grudge for years.

 

Members have a no-deal mentality and simply withdraw rather than work out their problems and conflicts. They fear conflict but will use it to push others away. They mask their insecurities and present themselves as decisive, independent, and confident. Others may perceive them as emotionally cold and disconnected. Members are emotionally and intellectually independent of each other.

 

Be sure to check out Part Three, The Herd; coming soon.

Check out more of Dr. Dave’s work.